Hamburger Recipe

Following is my famous secret recipe for delicious hamburgers: Throw some meat into a metal bowl. Add varying amounts of grated parmesan cheese, barbecue sauce, freshly ground pepper, not too much mustard, Worcestershire sauce, and some garlic powder. Then take a boy-child, insist that he wash his hands, and give him the pleasure of mushing it all up. The hamburgers must be served with chocolate milkshakes involving a few strawberries, some banana, a little vanilla extract and some malted milk powder. If you can't find a boy-child of your own, let me know; sometimes I am quite willing to lend mine out for a while.